What Is And What Was

Many a times one regrets the decisions taken in the past and now thinks if the decision was taken otherwise, it would have resulted for the better. But what one fails to recognize is that in the past when the decision was taken, the state of mind and situations around were different than what it is now. Before taking most of the decisions one weighs the options and chooses what seems the best in that moment but later on when things don't turn out the way one wished mind starts imagining alternate choices forgetting the ideas bought into while taking the past decisions, and based on the present circumstances superimpose ideas from the present onto the past imagining a resultantly desirable present or future.

Its impossible to take into consideration all the effects a choice will result in and the variables involved in any moment are enormous and vast. The way things happen is a bona fide to their authenticity and probably they could have come to pass differently but the truth is that they didn't. One is always choosing what appears best and right, there seems no other way. So regretting about a past choice makes no sense because if one puts oneself again in the past situation- by recollecting how one actually felt in the past and not by placing the present self in the past- one would take the same decision again.

There is no need to confuse between what is and what was and burden oneself with the weight of past choices. Seeing life totally in the present for whatever it is one can live much more qualitatively. If past choices haunt then one can address those choices differently if they happen to appear again in the present, and what will result from those choices? well, why not exercise ones imagination again.

Did You Live This Moment ?

When we miss being somewhere very important which we were really looking forward to, which probably might happen just once in a lifetime, we think if only we could have prepared earlier and would not have done whatever we did because of which we missed it or would have avoided whatever reasons made us miss those events in time.

But if we look at our whole life, probably each and everything just happens only once ! Lets say I write this at this moment, I may imagine I will be writing again sometime sooner or later so whats the difference? but that moment will be entirely different than this one. To take some simple things say our clothes will not be the same, our postures, our state of mind importantly, may be our conditions in our life at that moment, the date of course will be different, your breathing pattern, your body composition such as the water and minerals etc.

So each moment in our whole life is such an amazing event going on that we cannot really afford to miss them. We may label them important or unimportant based on different reasons, pay attention to them or not but they are discrete particulars which will just happen only once and are totally unique in themselves whether we are aware or ignorant of it.

Even our day to day activities such as brushing our teeth may come so alive if we really did it with awareness. If we really try and understand that this is what life is at this moment irrespective of our labels about it then even a simple act of brushing can lead to immense satisfaction because we didn't try to run away from it in any manner but we simple did it.

It seems to me that everything will become simple and clear if we stopped judging or labelling them and start respecting whatever comes in the moment. I remember reading somewhere "someday you will miss today", why miss any moment and then regret or think about it later and even miss that particular moment also?

Live fully wherever you are, whatever you do no matter how insignificant or significant that event is.

Real Miracle

People talk about miracles, of how they can or somebody else can perform certain feats, predict future say or see things or heal magically or perform magical feats which are beyond general understanding and we really wonder how is that possible;

I ask them if they have seen the sun rise or felt its warmth? or the moon at night? or ever felt the day transforming into night through dusk and again night into day through dawn? or all the stars in this endless sky? or the rain drops falling? or thought where did all the water traveled before falling in the form of rain or was it even a part of their body once? or thought where does all the variation come in this nature? who has so much creativity that each and every leaf on a tree is different from the rest? where does that sound from the body of a tiny bird comes and where does it disappear? how do all the creatures in this existence manage their lives? how and where do they sleep, eat, mate and even keep themselves entertained? who provides food for the stray dogs?


Isn't it a miracle that what we intake becomes our body after sometime? isn't it a miracle to be born to certain parents in a certain culture and society and at a particular time and space? how did all this got worked out? isn't it a miracle to exist as you do now? to have the thought that you have in your mind now? isn't it miraculous that you read this sitting where ever you are and that we don't know each other almost at all? how come we exist in the first place? take a look around, how come all this exist? this screen, this keyboard, these eyes of which you read, this mind through which you make sense of everything, this language through which we communicate?


Where did all this matter in the universe come from? why are we here specifically on earth? why is our condition like whatever it is now? why do we have pleasure and pain? why do we struggle? why should we win or loose? why do we want something? why are there so many people around on earth? how do I come to believe in this world, this universe or even other countries when I have just seen a fraction of it only with my physical eyes and when rest all is just testimony?


I feel totally mystified seeing these small fleet of marble stairs beneath me, with creatures making sound all around and a bird sleeping above my head, with probably say more than half the people in the country in a state of sleep with no knowledge what's going on in the world. How did I get here? what places me here, specifically here where I am? what places you where you are? what's the connection? what's going on around here actually? and how come some one is aware of all these questions and looking for answers? if we thought of an elephant isn't the size of the space in our thoughts bigger than the size of the elephant? where is that space? how can we conceive all this? even the whole universe? if we don't pay attention to these questions or miracle, do they really exist? where do they exist? where does anything exist- time and space? but if we exist in space where does space exist? where are past and future? where did whatever happened yesterday go? did it really happen or was it a dream? if not then where is it? where is the future? from where will future come and then again disappear? who are we really? Have we ever thought about all this? Not being aware, even that's a miracle.


Indeed this a miraculous ride we are on...

Who's The Madman ?

(The image is not of the boy talked about in the post but just a picture from the internet which I thought portrays him in some way)

This boy, have known him since quite a few years now, young chap, may be 20 plus one or two years. People say he is insane or rather he has been concluded that way in the neighborhood. Always doing things out of context; unclean, shabby, bald, running nose, clapping, shouting sometimes, were some of the usual scene with him.

Encountering each other on the streets would almost make me change my way. Urchins would be making fun of him every now and then, beating him up, irritating him which would also result in some strange reactions from him. But as I grew up I realized he does not mean any harm to anyone unless it was really called for and a sort of comfort developed between us. I felt that we just existed for each other for those passing tiny moment whenever we came across each other, smiling(not the mechanical ones), sometimes straight faces, sometimes just a look in the eye saying as if its all right to be wherever we were.

In this cool, moist, rain expecting breeze, standing on the terrace I spotted him again; picking up things from here and there on the road and handling them with quite a care, totally engrossed in whatever he was doing, simply present where he was without much noise in the head or purposes to fulfill or to reach anywhere but just playing with some pieces of paper, tearing them may be, saving and holding some for some purpose god only knew, was the work of the moment. Simply!

I looked at all this ceasing the stream of thoughts running through my head which I had been observing at the terrace in amusement since quite some time and felt for a moment how simple life is... With so many concepts, ideas, rules and regulations, notions about oneself and others I think I was normal and this chap though called crazy was just not bothered by anything but simply lived his life in whatever was going on.

If he cried he really cried, if he shouted he was really shouting at that moment, if he clapped he really clapped, if bothered he was really bothered, if he handled some useless papers picked up from the road side he really held them, that's all the reality. That's all the life for that moment of time. I never saw him carry anything further then it was supposed to be. One moment he would cry and the other he would clap if it required. He wouldn't bother about what was or what will be but what is. Whatever occurred now he was with that even if it demanded doing the most opposite things.

I really started to wonder how do we define normal? who sets the standard? If the world were full of people like this boy with one or two like me than I would be the one not normal and even now this crazy frenzy I feel in my head to which I give so much importance is in no way less than abnormal.

We assume its 'I' who has to take care of things, sleep, eat, earn etc but this simple crazy boy just lived, slept at some place, ate, took a bath, cut his hair etc. Was there a sense of' 'I' in him same as mine? I doubt that. Without thinking he has to do anything to keep on living he still just lived through every day, every hour, every minute, every moment and perhaps lived it more fully than most of us. The food he would eat without any thought of wanting something better in his plate, the sleep he would have would be without any burden from the day just passed and when he would get up in the morning his mind fresh and least bothered with the occupations of the day to follow but just simply he wakes up and starts...

Is this living not better than this false belief of 'I' taking care of everything, 'I' have to work, 'I' have to gain respect, 'I' have to prove or fulfill some purpose, 'I' have to take crucial/serious decisions in my life, but probably having none of these concepts in his head this boy just lived and lived better. Who took care of all his affairs? who provided him food whenever he was hungry? from where did the space made available when his eye lids felt heavy? who gave him a bath? who cut his hair? who gave him clothes? I don't know the details but everything was taken care by some way or the other.

I was convinced at the simplicity and profundity of his life rather than having this false satisfaction and assurance of the life I live. So tell me, who's the madman really?